I'm so excited! :D and thank you so much for all the amazing responses that I have received!
~
This is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't want to miss you like this,
Come back, be here
- Come Back Be Here, Taylor Swift
~
His head was still rested against the back of the chair, his eyes closed, his thoughts only occupied by her, her tender quivering lips, her large hazel eyes, the way he had made her cry, took everything away from her.
"I've turned into an orphan once again,"
Her low trembling voice as he had sat there completely unaware to the fact that he had committed the biggest mistake of his life, how he had wanted to comfort her, to apologise but hadn't, his own corrupted assumptions getting in the way. His hands clenched into fists at his side as he tried to escape them. And that's when he felt something change, all his tormenting thoughts giving way to something else, something so profoundly beautiful that he wasn't even sure he wanted dwell into it.
He could still see it in his mind like it had only occurred the day before, her tantalising, innocent features caught in the midst of all of the confusion. He wanted to kick himself, for hurting her, for putting her through hell when she hadn't even known what her fault was. He wanted to go back to that day again, put aside all his inhibitions and do what his heart had struggled to all through out and then finally had only for her to not remember, only for him to take it back all over again.
He couldn't get her innocent face out of his mind, her soft fair cheeks, adorned with streaks of red, the colours of holi which he had so commandingly adorned her skin with. How he had been so torn and yet not able to stop himself, his hand automatically falling onto her arm as she continued to rub at her eye. His fingers softly caressing her lashes, his warm breath on her face as he blew into her eyes, the rapid flutter of her eyelashes, her hazel orbs so bewildered, so confused. He felt the pain seer through him once more. After she had left there hadn't been a moment when he hadn't thought of her, when her memories had not haunted him. If only she could understand how much he regretted his words, his every action if only she would give him another chance.
It was as if he could still feel the gentle tug of her fingers on his hand as she stopped him, how his fingers automatically wound around hers, making him in that single moment forget all of his anger, his entangled thoughts. How her simple touch never seized to make his heart rule his mind because it had always been right.
Right now it was exactly that, it was as if he could feel her, feel her heart beat against his chest, their hearts beat in unison but he felt stupid for thinking that. It was as if she was there, only steps away from him, he could feel it in every fibre of his body but he refused to believe it.
"Why does this happen? That every time I come close to you my heart starts beating faster?"
Her innocent question, his inability to answer. How much had he wanted to give in to her that day, hug her close to him and hold her in that embrace forever. He had wanted to forget what he had seen, all his assumptions and just believe her, her soulful eyes, her timid question. But he hadn't, he hadn't!
He remembered the pain he had felt, remembered feeling so completely lost, thinking of how she was everything that he had ever wanted and how she could never be his for her heart belonged to another. He let his fingers dig into his palms, if only he could take time back and start all over again, give her the love that she deserved.
"Why is she there?"
"Who is she?"
"Oh god what is she wearing?"
He snapped out of his thoughts suddenly, his eyes opening then widening instantly. He was on his feet within seconds, his thoughts haywire, he wasn't sure if this was all a dream, a figment of his own imagination but he didn't want to take the chance. His feet were fast against the ground, his sole focus on her, her struggling feet as they began to slip, his mind whirring back to that heart-wrenching situation once more. Her feet slipping against the rocks, her blood-curdling scream. He had to save her!
****
Her eyes opened slowly, still waiting for the pain to hit her but feeling strong arms hold her instead and she felt her heart plumet to her stomach. She gulped back the sudden anticipation that began to creep up her whole being, not sure if she wanted to see the face of the mans hold that she was now so familiar to. Her heart was beating more rapidly, and she knew the reason why, her eyes widening on clashing against molten brown ones, his fingers tightening around her waist, her fingers automatically pulling at the edges of his collar.
Her chest was heaving, her breaths coming out rapidly, this was where it had all begun and she couldn't believe herself, she was back here again. The nostalgia hit her in waves, with pangs of pain and sorrow, she couldn't prevent the tears that gathered in the brims of her eyes, his final words cutting into her and creating deep gashes all over again. Her hands pushed against his chest, struggling against his hold, her eyes fiery and moist, her nostrils flaring as he continued to stare at her. She felt herself lose herself in that gaze of his for a second but she tightened her eyes shut, attempting to control her erratic heart beat.
She began to struggle in his hold, pushing her hands against his chest, opening her furious eyes to equally determined ones. She looked around then, the flashing cameras, the security that surrounded them bringing back too many painful memories. Memories of herself being flung to the ground, running away, her dupatta under his feet. She tried to will them away! To escape them!
"Let me go!" She finally yelled over the commotion but he held on, adamant on not just letting her go this time.
"Khushi I just... I just need to," he struggled, his hands still firm against her.
She sighed, the fury bubbling up through her now reaching its peak. She'd had enough! "I just need to what Arnavji?" She questioned, "just let me go!" She tried to push him away as he lost his hold on her, slowly letting her off.
She stood in front of him then, her eyes like burning embers, this was the wrong time, she wasn't meant to be here, he wasn't meant to be here and she hated how fate seemed to just intervene. She turned around to walk away then, the strength that she forced upon her heart not coming to her, her mind frazzled. Her limbs felt weak, she wanted to turn back around and rest her head on his chest, feel his arms wrap around her, wanted him to crush herself into him. A tear rolled down her eye, a blazing fire irrupting through her heart. She needed to stop this!
Taking a deep breath in she finally took a step forward only to feel his hand go around her arm, stopping her, his fingers tight on her skin. He tried to spin her around to look at him but she refused, she stood her ground knowing that if she was weak now she would never be able to walk away from him again. And she didn't want that, didn't need that.
"Please Khushi just listen to me for one, just let me explain, I didn't..." Arnav tried again, his voice low, only barely aware of the commotion that surrounded them.
"Sir sir," a reported suddenly popped out of nowhere, his camera trained on both Khushi and Arnav. Arnav felt himself loose his temper completely, his anger seemed to flare out of him suddenly. "For Gods Sake Khushi! Just listen to me!" He exclaimed this time but she didn't agree. Instead her fingers went to his hand, removing it slowly from her arm as she began to take further steps away from him.
"Sir is this your wife? When did you marry? Is that why this line took so long to be launched? Why has news of your marriage not been in the papers?" The journalist began to bombard Arnav with questions, he turned around rapidly, quickly loosing control and any sense of what was wrong and right. He tried to follow Khushi but was stopped by the pestering journalists, if the world had run according to him he would have jammed the camera in the godforsaken mans face. Ignoring him completely he strode forward and grabbed Khushi's arm.
She looked up at him completely confused, taken aback by the anger that had now taken over his features, knowing the wrath of it all too well. She attempted to struggle against his grip but it only tightened, determined to not let her go. She struggled behind him as he dragged her with him, his steps purposeful, her mind tracing back down memory lane, to being dragged down this very same path. The drapes were a different colour this time, the lights entangled in a different manner but she couldn't prevent her memories from assaulting her. Their first ever meeting, his anger, her fear, how it had all began and where it was now. It unknowingly brought tears to her eyes and crossing the threshold she felt something snap inside her. She wouldn't take this anymore, she refused to let herself be put through such misery over and over again. She twisted her arm in his grip, breaking it out of his tight hold, her eyes ablaze with the fury that coursed through her as she stood in front of him, her adamant stance clear.
He watched her for a second, taken aback, he wasn't sure of how to react once again, just needing to apologise but not getting the chance to, not knowing how to.
The dupatta that the woman had so flimsily wrapped around her neck slid to the floor as she took another step forward, he face only inches away from his as her whole body shook with the anger flowing through her.
"Khushi I just," he felt himself falter, unnerved by her accusing eyes, her uncaring nature.
"You what Arnav? Is there anything left to even tell me? Why can't you just leave me alone?" She questioned, her voice loud, her eyes still glazed over with the tears that threatened to pour out.
He gulped, not knowing how to reply to that, loosing his thought process once more. "Khushi I didn't,"he tried again, his eyes downcast unable to meet her gaze.
"You didn't mean it?" She finished off for him, "you didn't know?" She continued, taking another step towards him. "All you have is excuses Mr Arnav Singh Raizada, you didn't mean it?" She couldn't stop herself anymore, the words just flowing out one after another. Why couldn't he ever understand her? Understand how much it hurt her? Every single time! "Do you ever mean anything you say?" She questioned finally, as he looked up to finally meet her gaze.
"That's not what I meant," he struggled, his voice a hoarse whisper, how was he supposed to tell her how much he regretted everything? How was he supposed to seek forgiveness? He attempted to move towards her, his arm outstretched but this time she moved back, her hand out stopping him from saying anything further.
"Arnav just stop it! Just let it go! You and I both know that this will never go anywhere. I'd rather you forgot about me and move on," her lips were quivering, her voice not quite audible as she attempted to gain strength to stand up against him, feeling her own heart break into pieces with every word.
But he saw right through her, right through the hard exterior she was attempting to portray, he grabbed her hand yanking her towards him, her small body colliding off of his. His face was furious, his eyes burning into the depths of hers, his jaw taunt. "How could you think this is over, that I could forget all that we have and move on?!" He exclaimed through gritted teeth, as she stared back, not having anticipated this, her eyes wide. She pushed away from him, not surprised at his outburst, not able to help her own anger.
"And what did we have exactly Mr Arnav Singh Raizada?" She shouted, her voice echoing through the large hall, the same place they had first met now bearing witness to how it would all change, from what they had started off with to what they had left now. "What did we have?" She questioned, her eyes not leaving him for a second, "A forced marriage? Accusations? Pain? Regret? What did we have?" She screamed, grabbing at his arm, shaking him, demanding answers that she knew he didn't have.
He just stood there, his head bowed in defeat, her words hitting and searing through him one by one, crippling him. He didn't know how to react, didn't feel he had the strength to. She was right, what had he given her? What had they shared?
"You don't have an answer do you Arnav? Because we never had anything!" She exclaimed, her voice breaking through the tears that escaped her.
He felt weak, his heart giving way, he felt her hand slide down his arm and nearly leave his but he held on, looking up to her face once more, the pain all but too evident in his chocolate brown eyes but she chose to ignore it, shaking his hand away.
Turning around she begun to walk away, forcing herself not to look back, wiping the soft tears that continued to flow down her face.
He bent down and picked up her dupatta which lay on the ground, his thumb grazing over the delicate folds, his heart constricting, his mind in a state of turmoil. Closing his eyes for a second he took a deep breath in, all her words crashing into him in waves of repetition. "Khushi," he finally mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.
She stopped in her tracks, still unable to resist the gentle tinkle that resounded in his voice as he took her name. She turned her head slowly to face him.
He stood there, his eyes to the floor, the regret evident in every muscle of his face, his arm out-stretched with her dupatta.
Her eyes widened in surprise, hadn't this been the same place where he had torn the pearl strings of her dress?
"I'm sorry," he murmured and she felt her heart melt all over again, her determination crumble into scattered pieces...
*Credit to the uploader Dimailvegamze!*
"I've turned into an orphan once again,"
Her low trembling voice as he had sat there completely unaware to the fact that he had committed the biggest mistake of his life, how he had wanted to comfort her, to apologise but hadn't, his own corrupted assumptions getting in the way. His hands clenched into fists at his side as he tried to escape them. And that's when he felt something change, all his tormenting thoughts giving way to something else, something so profoundly beautiful that he wasn't even sure he wanted dwell into it.
He could still see it in his mind like it had only occurred the day before, her tantalising, innocent features caught in the midst of all of the confusion. He wanted to kick himself, for hurting her, for putting her through hell when she hadn't even known what her fault was. He wanted to go back to that day again, put aside all his inhibitions and do what his heart had struggled to all through out and then finally had only for her to not remember, only for him to take it back all over again.
He couldn't get her innocent face out of his mind, her soft fair cheeks, adorned with streaks of red, the colours of holi which he had so commandingly adorned her skin with. How he had been so torn and yet not able to stop himself, his hand automatically falling onto her arm as she continued to rub at her eye. His fingers softly caressing her lashes, his warm breath on her face as he blew into her eyes, the rapid flutter of her eyelashes, her hazel orbs so bewildered, so confused. He felt the pain seer through him once more. After she had left there hadn't been a moment when he hadn't thought of her, when her memories had not haunted him. If only she could understand how much he regretted his words, his every action if only she would give him another chance.
It was as if he could still feel the gentle tug of her fingers on his hand as she stopped him, how his fingers automatically wound around hers, making him in that single moment forget all of his anger, his entangled thoughts. How her simple touch never seized to make his heart rule his mind because it had always been right.
Right now it was exactly that, it was as if he could feel her, feel her heart beat against his chest, their hearts beat in unison but he felt stupid for thinking that. It was as if she was there, only steps away from him, he could feel it in every fibre of his body but he refused to believe it.
"Why does this happen? That every time I come close to you my heart starts beating faster?"
Her innocent question, his inability to answer. How much had he wanted to give in to her that day, hug her close to him and hold her in that embrace forever. He had wanted to forget what he had seen, all his assumptions and just believe her, her soulful eyes, her timid question. But he hadn't, he hadn't!
He remembered the pain he had felt, remembered feeling so completely lost, thinking of how she was everything that he had ever wanted and how she could never be his for her heart belonged to another. He let his fingers dig into his palms, if only he could take time back and start all over again, give her the love that she deserved.
"Why is she there?"
"Who is she?"
"Oh god what is she wearing?"
He snapped out of his thoughts suddenly, his eyes opening then widening instantly. He was on his feet within seconds, his thoughts haywire, he wasn't sure if this was all a dream, a figment of his own imagination but he didn't want to take the chance. His feet were fast against the ground, his sole focus on her, her struggling feet as they began to slip, his mind whirring back to that heart-wrenching situation once more. Her feet slipping against the rocks, her blood-curdling scream. He had to save her!
****
Her eyes opened slowly, still waiting for the pain to hit her but feeling strong arms hold her instead and she felt her heart plumet to her stomach. She gulped back the sudden anticipation that began to creep up her whole being, not sure if she wanted to see the face of the mans hold that she was now so familiar to. Her heart was beating more rapidly, and she knew the reason why, her eyes widening on clashing against molten brown ones, his fingers tightening around her waist, her fingers automatically pulling at the edges of his collar.
Her chest was heaving, her breaths coming out rapidly, this was where it had all begun and she couldn't believe herself, she was back here again. The nostalgia hit her in waves, with pangs of pain and sorrow, she couldn't prevent the tears that gathered in the brims of her eyes, his final words cutting into her and creating deep gashes all over again. Her hands pushed against his chest, struggling against his hold, her eyes fiery and moist, her nostrils flaring as he continued to stare at her. She felt herself lose herself in that gaze of his for a second but she tightened her eyes shut, attempting to control her erratic heart beat.
She began to struggle in his hold, pushing her hands against his chest, opening her furious eyes to equally determined ones. She looked around then, the flashing cameras, the security that surrounded them bringing back too many painful memories. Memories of herself being flung to the ground, running away, her dupatta under his feet. She tried to will them away! To escape them!
"Let me go!" She finally yelled over the commotion but he held on, adamant on not just letting her go this time.
"Khushi I just... I just need to," he struggled, his hands still firm against her.
She sighed, the fury bubbling up through her now reaching its peak. She'd had enough! "I just need to what Arnavji?" She questioned, "just let me go!" She tried to push him away as he lost his hold on her, slowly letting her off.
She stood in front of him then, her eyes like burning embers, this was the wrong time, she wasn't meant to be here, he wasn't meant to be here and she hated how fate seemed to just intervene. She turned around to walk away then, the strength that she forced upon her heart not coming to her, her mind frazzled. Her limbs felt weak, she wanted to turn back around and rest her head on his chest, feel his arms wrap around her, wanted him to crush herself into him. A tear rolled down her eye, a blazing fire irrupting through her heart. She needed to stop this!
Taking a deep breath in she finally took a step forward only to feel his hand go around her arm, stopping her, his fingers tight on her skin. He tried to spin her around to look at him but she refused, she stood her ground knowing that if she was weak now she would never be able to walk away from him again. And she didn't want that, didn't need that.
"Please Khushi just listen to me for one, just let me explain, I didn't..." Arnav tried again, his voice low, only barely aware of the commotion that surrounded them.
"Sir sir," a reported suddenly popped out of nowhere, his camera trained on both Khushi and Arnav. Arnav felt himself loose his temper completely, his anger seemed to flare out of him suddenly. "For Gods Sake Khushi! Just listen to me!" He exclaimed this time but she didn't agree. Instead her fingers went to his hand, removing it slowly from her arm as she began to take further steps away from him.
"Sir is this your wife? When did you marry? Is that why this line took so long to be launched? Why has news of your marriage not been in the papers?" The journalist began to bombard Arnav with questions, he turned around rapidly, quickly loosing control and any sense of what was wrong and right. He tried to follow Khushi but was stopped by the pestering journalists, if the world had run according to him he would have jammed the camera in the godforsaken mans face. Ignoring him completely he strode forward and grabbed Khushi's arm.
She looked up at him completely confused, taken aback by the anger that had now taken over his features, knowing the wrath of it all too well. She attempted to struggle against his grip but it only tightened, determined to not let her go. She struggled behind him as he dragged her with him, his steps purposeful, her mind tracing back down memory lane, to being dragged down this very same path. The drapes were a different colour this time, the lights entangled in a different manner but she couldn't prevent her memories from assaulting her. Their first ever meeting, his anger, her fear, how it had all began and where it was now. It unknowingly brought tears to her eyes and crossing the threshold she felt something snap inside her. She wouldn't take this anymore, she refused to let herself be put through such misery over and over again. She twisted her arm in his grip, breaking it out of his tight hold, her eyes ablaze with the fury that coursed through her as she stood in front of him, her adamant stance clear.
He watched her for a second, taken aback, he wasn't sure of how to react once again, just needing to apologise but not getting the chance to, not knowing how to.
The dupatta that the woman had so flimsily wrapped around her neck slid to the floor as she took another step forward, he face only inches away from his as her whole body shook with the anger flowing through her.
"Khushi I just," he felt himself falter, unnerved by her accusing eyes, her uncaring nature.
"You what Arnav? Is there anything left to even tell me? Why can't you just leave me alone?" She questioned, her voice loud, her eyes still glazed over with the tears that threatened to pour out.
He gulped, not knowing how to reply to that, loosing his thought process once more. "Khushi I didn't,"he tried again, his eyes downcast unable to meet her gaze.
"You didn't mean it?" She finished off for him, "you didn't know?" She continued, taking another step towards him. "All you have is excuses Mr Arnav Singh Raizada, you didn't mean it?" She couldn't stop herself anymore, the words just flowing out one after another. Why couldn't he ever understand her? Understand how much it hurt her? Every single time! "Do you ever mean anything you say?" She questioned finally, as he looked up to finally meet her gaze.
"That's not what I meant," he struggled, his voice a hoarse whisper, how was he supposed to tell her how much he regretted everything? How was he supposed to seek forgiveness? He attempted to move towards her, his arm outstretched but this time she moved back, her hand out stopping him from saying anything further.
"Arnav just stop it! Just let it go! You and I both know that this will never go anywhere. I'd rather you forgot about me and move on," her lips were quivering, her voice not quite audible as she attempted to gain strength to stand up against him, feeling her own heart break into pieces with every word.
But he saw right through her, right through the hard exterior she was attempting to portray, he grabbed her hand yanking her towards him, her small body colliding off of his. His face was furious, his eyes burning into the depths of hers, his jaw taunt. "How could you think this is over, that I could forget all that we have and move on?!" He exclaimed through gritted teeth, as she stared back, not having anticipated this, her eyes wide. She pushed away from him, not surprised at his outburst, not able to help her own anger.
"And what did we have exactly Mr Arnav Singh Raizada?" She shouted, her voice echoing through the large hall, the same place they had first met now bearing witness to how it would all change, from what they had started off with to what they had left now. "What did we have?" She questioned, her eyes not leaving him for a second, "A forced marriage? Accusations? Pain? Regret? What did we have?" She screamed, grabbing at his arm, shaking him, demanding answers that she knew he didn't have.
He just stood there, his head bowed in defeat, her words hitting and searing through him one by one, crippling him. He didn't know how to react, didn't feel he had the strength to. She was right, what had he given her? What had they shared?
"You don't have an answer do you Arnav? Because we never had anything!" She exclaimed, her voice breaking through the tears that escaped her.
He felt weak, his heart giving way, he felt her hand slide down his arm and nearly leave his but he held on, looking up to her face once more, the pain all but too evident in his chocolate brown eyes but she chose to ignore it, shaking his hand away.
Turning around she begun to walk away, forcing herself not to look back, wiping the soft tears that continued to flow down her face.
He bent down and picked up her dupatta which lay on the ground, his thumb grazing over the delicate folds, his heart constricting, his mind in a state of turmoil. Closing his eyes for a second he took a deep breath in, all her words crashing into him in waves of repetition. "Khushi," he finally mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.
She stopped in her tracks, still unable to resist the gentle tinkle that resounded in his voice as he took her name. She turned her head slowly to face him.
He stood there, his eyes to the floor, the regret evident in every muscle of his face, his arm out-stretched with her dupatta.
Her eyes widened in surprise, hadn't this been the same place where he had torn the pearl strings of her dress?
"I'm sorry," he murmured and she felt her heart melt all over again, her determination crumble into scattered pieces...
*Credit to the uploader Dimailvegamze!*
